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Nov 8 '07
Leaders Turn to Dough for Interest Rate Respite
Opposition leader Sprinkles Kev07 was quick to respond to this morning’s dreaded interest rate hike, the highest in eleven years, assuring voters that his Free Krispy Kremes for Australia policy was now more critical than ever.
As middle Australia collectively cringed with news of RBA’s interest rise to 6.75 per cent, Sprinkles Kev07 sprang on the opportunity to highlight his number one Election policy.
“This is precisely why Free Krispy Kremes for Australia is imperative. There are plenty of Australians – mortgage holders in particular - who will feel the full weight of this rise and so now more than ever we’ll need some respite; something sweet to smile about,” said Sprinkles Kev07.
“This policy is a recipe for fun; a recipe to give back to Australians. After today’s announcement we could all do with a sugar-coated lining on this cloud,” he said.
Original John, who just last week accused Sprinkles Kev07 of yet another copycat policy, agreed that Free Krispy Kremes for Australia will now be a particularly welcome way to celebrate the Election outcome.
Both main parties have pledged up to six free Krispy Kremes per registered voter should their party win the November Elections.
Nov 7 '07
Pumpkin Picking Kev Accuses Others of Waxing Lyrical
Having become somewhat of a cyberspace superstar for rather unsavoury reasons, party leader Sprinkles Kev07 was today caught picking a sweeter treat at Krispy Kreme.
Perhaps eager to move away from his reputation of being self-sufficient, Kev opted to take time out from his hectic campaign schedule to indulge in some Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Whilst picking his selection from the cabinet, he took the opportunity to accuse other parties of waxing lyrical on Election promises.
"Like me, Australians have had an earful of broken party promises over the years. It's time to vote for a party that will actually deliver on its campaign pledge. It is no coincidence that I chose to come to Krispy Kreme for a treat today. I'm here because I want voters to know that when we promise free Krispy Kremes for Australia, we intend to make good on it!" he said.
In what may be seen as copycat political play, both Sprinkles Kev07 and current leader Original John have vouched for free Krispy Kremes should their respective party win the November Elections.
Indeed, six free Krispy Kremes are promised to all registered voters all day after the Election on 25 November should either Original John or Sprinkles Kev07 receive the largest percentage of votes.
Nov 1 '07
Vote One, Vote Free Krispy Kremes for Australia!
In a startling election development, Krispy Kreme today announced sugar-coated respite from the usual campaigning - promising free Krispy Kreme doughnuts for Australia should either of the two leading parties be voted into power.
In what some anticipate being the most contested election the country has experienced, four major parties are competing as Australians "vote with their mouths" on Election Day.
Original John and Sprinkles Kev07, the two leading parties, have presented staggeringly similar policies, offering free Krispy Kreme doughnuts to every registered voter who visits stores the day after the election, should they win.
Currently dominating the Display Cabinet for the past four terms, the Original John (formerly Original Glazed) party has made the astounding promise of six free Krispy Kremes per voting Australian should the party remain in power. In line with the Original John party mantra to "Go for Glaze!" the six free Krispy Kreme doughnuts will be offered to registered voters who visit a store the day after the election, on Sunday 25 November.
Sprinkles Kev07 (formerly Choc Iced with Sprinkles) has emerged as Original John's biggest threat, offering fresh ideas compared to the 70 year old recipe their opponent proffers as the secret to success. Yet despite their criticism of Original John, Sprinkles Kev07 admits free Krispy Kremes for Australia is a quality policy and one that the voting public deserves and has - not surprisingly for some - literally mimicked Original John's promise.
Critical of cheap party tactics, The Greenies (formerly Cinnamon Apple Filled) have avoided free product policies and instead focused on saving apple trees. Having previously been accused of spicing up global warming issues, The Greenies are adamant the other parties have clear holes in their climate change policies and claim their carbon off-setting through increased apple tree plantation is the way of the future.
Committed to representing the more zesty minorities, The Lemoncrats (formerly Lemon Filled) have promised to bring back balance to the Display Cabinet if voted in.
While Australians can vote with their mouths for their preferred party policy, Free Krispy Kremes are promised to all registered voters all day on 25 November should either Original John or Sprinkles Kev07 receive the largest percentage of votes.
For more information on party platforms and to register to vote, visit www.krispykreme.com.au/election07.